Women, United, We’ll Never Be Defeated!
Ladies, we need to team up… we need to join forces and conquer the greatest gender injustice of our generation.
It is a travesty.
I’m not talking about (the lack of) women on boards.
I’m not even thinking about quotas.
Or equal pay (which by the way is on track to deliver equality to men and women in around 300 years).
That, my friends, is SMALL FRY.
We need to campaign, protest, and … stop having sex until our male partners until they agree to suffer just a little bit on our behalf.
Because it is b*llsh*t that we have to do all the sucky things that make us reproductive machines.
Cramps, monthly cycles, hormones, growing a baby, becoming milk manufacturers, taking the pill, menopause…
What do men do?
Big, sweet donut.
It’s time this was remedied.
A few weeks ago I was down in the dumps, having had to endure another trip to see a specialist and have them take another litre of blood and have a poke around my ovaries.
My husband bought me chocolates and flowers and asked me, sincerely, whether there was anything he could do to make me feel better.
I thought about it… and convoluted a plan that would see him suffer – just a little bit.
And so I asked him whether he could please spoof in a cup. Preferably in a room full of strangers.
It’s time to get even, ladies.
Why does all the crap stuff have to happen to us while our male counterparts get off scott-free?
It’s only FAIR.
Next time you have a pap-smear, get your lover to have his balls squeezed by a set of cold pliers.
Breast check? Call for a prostate examination.
Give birth? Make him endure a cow treading on his scrotum. Repeatedly.
WHO’S WITH ME?